Blurb
At eighteen, Joel Smith’s life fell to pieces. His boyfriend died in a car crash while reading a sext from him, the local newspaper outed them both in the aftermath, and his parents got a divorce. Joel did everything possible to outrun his past: he moved to Oklahoma for college, legally changed his name, and started over.
Since then, he hasn’t let anyone get close—not his classmates, not his roommate, and definitely not his hookups. The strategy has served him well for over three years. Why would he change it now?
But Joel doesn’t plan on the articles about his boyfriend’s death being used as a case study in one of his classes. And he doesn’t plan on Paulie McPherson, who is sweet and giving and fun. In Paulie, he finds a home for the first time in years.
But love isn’t simple, and lies have a tendency to get in the way. Joel must figure out if he’ll allow his grief to rule him, or if his connection with Paulie is worth letting all of his walls come tumbling down.
Since then, he hasn’t let anyone get close—not his classmates, not his roommate, and definitely not his hookups. The strategy has served him well for over three years. Why would he change it now?
But Joel doesn’t plan on the articles about his boyfriend’s death being used as a case study in one of his classes. And he doesn’t plan on Paulie McPherson, who is sweet and giving and fun. In Paulie, he finds a home for the first time in years.
But love isn’t simple, and lies have a tendency to get in the way. Joel must figure out if he’ll allow his grief to rule him, or if his connection with Paulie is worth letting all of his walls come tumbling down.
REVIEW
My Rating - 5 Stars!
Controlled Burn is a gripping and tragic tale that's told is a beautiful manner, ending with the reader fully satisfied.
Grief, and it's effects, are at the root of this tale of two young men who meet and fall in love. Joel lost his boyfriend, Diego, years ago and is still completely grieving, drowning in his guilt as a result.
When he meets Paulie, he is taken in by this sweet and loving young man. But, throughout, he keeps him at arms length, too guilty of being without someone other than his deceased ex, as well as being unable to allow himself to move on.
There were so many things about this story that spoke to me. For one, I love the way that Joel reacts to Paulie's laugh. "No one should ever stop his laughter. It was a crime."
The overall haunting depth at which Joel realizes the truth about his former relationship is heartbreaking. As young men, firmly forced to be in the closet, he and Diego were never able to actually be real boyfriends. And, as he further admits the truth to himself, his enlightenment leads him to discover the truth about the way our minds can force us to hold relationships to be more important than they really are/were.
The discussion of being able to pass as straight versus being as fabulous as you really are is, as always, a great conversation. With Diego, Joel had to pass as straight, as Diego's life depended upon it. And thus with Paulie, Joel has a tough time accepting Paulie's appearance. Paulie's reaction is perfect, as he should not have to hide for anyone, and he won't.
Controlled Burn is mutli-layered, with so many lessons to be learned, and is fraught with well crafted moments, memories, and scenes. It is not an easy read, as it is filled with conflict and angst, but it is well worth the journey they take to get to their hard fought happy ending. I highly recommend this book, as Erin McLellan has a real winner on her hands!
Controlled Burn is a gripping and tragic tale that's told is a beautiful manner, ending with the reader fully satisfied.
Grief, and it's effects, are at the root of this tale of two young men who meet and fall in love. Joel lost his boyfriend, Diego, years ago and is still completely grieving, drowning in his guilt as a result.
When he meets Paulie, he is taken in by this sweet and loving young man. But, throughout, he keeps him at arms length, too guilty of being without someone other than his deceased ex, as well as being unable to allow himself to move on.
There were so many things about this story that spoke to me. For one, I love the way that Joel reacts to Paulie's laugh. "No one should ever stop his laughter. It was a crime."
The overall haunting depth at which Joel realizes the truth about his former relationship is heartbreaking. As young men, firmly forced to be in the closet, he and Diego were never able to actually be real boyfriends. And, as he further admits the truth to himself, his enlightenment leads him to discover the truth about the way our minds can force us to hold relationships to be more important than they really are/were.
The discussion of being able to pass as straight versus being as fabulous as you really are is, as always, a great conversation. With Diego, Joel had to pass as straight, as Diego's life depended upon it. And thus with Paulie, Joel has a tough time accepting Paulie's appearance. Paulie's reaction is perfect, as he should not have to hide for anyone, and he won't.
Controlled Burn is mutli-layered, with so many lessons to be learned, and is fraught with well crafted moments, memories, and scenes. It is not an easy read, as it is filled with conflict and angst, but it is well worth the journey they take to get to their hard fought happy ending. I highly recommend this book, as Erin McLellan has a real winner on her hands!
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