Showing posts with label royalty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label royalty. Show all posts

Sunday, July 25, 2021

The Fake Prince Jake by Geoffrey Knight

 


Amazon Link   - Available in KU 





A pretend prince, a crazy king and a daring royal ruse that may or may not lead to true love… what could possibly go wrong?

Far too busy with his career to barely look twice at the hot barista who makes his coffee every morning – let alone ever dream of having a love life of his own – events manager Oliver Albright commits all his time and energy to the PR company that keeps the British Royal Family in the business of, well, being royal. But when he is charged with the job of finding the wayward Prince Jacob of Nottingham and escorting him to the tiny medieval kingdom of Zsnovania, Oliver must throw his run sheets out the window and pull off the greatest royal bluff of the century in order to prevent the utterly bonkers King Zorg of Zsnovania from declaring war on England.

With the help of his trusty assistant Audrey, his recently separated mother Judy, and a sexy American barista with an uncanny likeness to the missing prince, Oliver finds himself embroiled in the craziest quest of his career, all the while falling head over heels in love with…

The Fake Prince Jake.

The Fake Prince Jake is a 65k-word, laugh-out-loud, royal rom-com filled with fairytale romance, crazy capers and a zany cast of supporting characters. Expect to be swept off your feet but be sure to avoid the woofenschlok!
 



My Rating - 5 Stars!


The Fake Prince Jake is a delightful romantic comedy by Geoffrey Knight. Every moment of this tale is fun and makes me smile.

From the start, this story grabbed my attention, and left me rushing to finish it in one sitting.

Oliver and fake Jake are fabulous together. I love the way the story develops, with the slow burn romance taking a back seat to the hilarity. 

Oliver is funny as can be. He's so damn oblivious to the flirting. But he takes a back seat to some others. 

I love the setting and all the charming secondary characters. Oliver's mother. King Zorg. And more. Everyone had me laughing out loud throughout. 

The writing is fantastic. I love the fast paced storyline and all the things involved. 

The Fake Prince Jake is non stop entertainment. I love this Geoffrey Knight gem. Be sure to pick this one up the next time you're in the mood for a feel good romance with plenty of laughs. You won't regret it. 



Friday, June 11, 2021

Playing the Palace by Paul Rudnick

 






THEIR LOVE STORY CAPTIVATED THE WORLD…THE CROWN PRINCE AND THAT GUY FROM NEW YORK

When a lonely American event planner starts dating the gay Prince of Wales, a royal uproar ensues: is it true love or the ultimate meme? Find out in this hilarious romantic comedy.


After having his heart trampled on by his cheating ex, Carter Ogden is afraid love just isn’t in the cards for him. He still holds out hope in a tiny corner of his heart, but even in his wildest dreams he never thought he’d meet the Crown Prince of England, much less do a lot more with him. Yes, growing up he’d fantasized about the handsome, openly gay Prince Edgar, but who hadn’t? When they meet by chance at an event Carter’s boss is organizing, Carter’s sure he imagined all that sizzling chemistry. Or was it mutual?

This unlikely but meant-to-be romance sets off media fireworks on both sides of the Atlantic. With everyone having an opinion on their relationship and the intense pressure of being constantly in the spotlight, Carter finds ferocious obstacles to his Happily Ever After, including the tenacious disapproval of the Queen of England. Carter and Prince Edgar fight for a happy ending to equal their glorious international beginning. It’s a match made on Valentine’s Day and in tabloid heaven.
 





My Rating - 4.5 Stars!


Playing the Palace is a fabulous, humorous royal romance. This Paul Rudnick read is simply wonderful.

Carter is hysterically a bumbling fool, in a lovable way. I am still giggling at his antics. 

It's adorable the way Edgar connects with him and feels comfortable with him. They truly feel right together, making for a swoony feel. Add in their chemistry, and woo hoo!

Carter's family had me in stitches. And then there's Edgar family. Just wow. Plenty of emotional moments, both good and bad, surrounding their families. 

Playing the Palace is sweet and feel-good. Paul Rudnick had me entertained throughout this memorable tale. Be sure to check this out the next time you're in the mood for a gay rom-com. 




Saturday, May 29, 2021

How to Catch the Boss (Chester Falls #4.5) by Ana Ashley

 


Amazon Link   - Available in KU  




I’m in love with my brother’s best friend.
Have I also mentioned he’s my boss?

Working with Ryan is a daily reminder of what I can’t have.
But how do I tell my heart that?
When we’re trapped together in a log cabin, in the snowy mountains of Lydovia, just before Christmas, I realize my feelings might not be completely one-sided.

Ryan’s afraid of losing my brother’s friendship, but how can I go back to not being with him?
How do I make him see that what we have is worth the risk?

Caution! contains:
Excessive pastry consumption
Food-themed underwear
A voyeuristic deer
A meddling royal family

How To Catch the Boss is a 30k, MM romance holiday novella set in the world of Chester Falls.
This novella can be read as a standalone, although it will be better enjoyed as part of the Chester Falls series since it contains recurring characters.
 





My Rating - 4.5 Stars!

How to Catch the Boss is a fun holiday novella in the Chester Falls series. In this Ana Ashley tale, we get to revisit the royal land of Lydovia again. 

This book is pure fun, as Luca and Ryan are stuck together. Cue all the snow, forced proximity, mutual attraction elements. 

These two are just adorable together. 

Their story includes the best of meddling friends, banter and humor. 
Add in plenty of laughs and charm and you can't go wrong with this Ana Ashley story. 

How to Catch a Boss is a great addition the this series. If you've been enjoying this series, you will love this short romance. 



Friday, April 30, 2021

The Queen and Prince Philip: The Early Years (The Royal House of Windsor) by Helen Cathcart

 


Amazon Link   - Available in KU  





A celebration of the love story between Britain’s longest reigning monarch and her royal consort.

‘If I am asked today what I think about family life after 25 years of marriage, I can reply with simplicity and conviction. I am for it.’ – The Queen, 20th November 1972

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip enjoyed seventy-three years of happy married life together – the longest marriage of any royal British couple in history.

But how did they meet? What did their families think of their burgeoning relationship? What obstacles did the young couple face before and after their marriage? And how did a childhood friendship grow into the love story of the century?

In The Queen and Prince Philip royal biographer Helen Cathcart superbly reconstructs the early years of Elizabeth and Philip’s relationship, tracing their growing affection from the summer of 1939, when ‘Lilibet’ was a teenager and Philip a dashing navy cadet, through their wartime courtship and magnificent wedding in 1947 at Westminster Abbey. She skillfully narrates their adjustment to new parenthood in Clarence House and how, shortly afterwards, both their lives changed forever when Elizabeth ascended the throne as Queen in 1952 and Philip became Prince Consort.

Set against a revealing background of family and wider social events, this is the first full story of their early years together as husband and wife documented from family letters, royal journals and the personal recollections of those close to the royal couple.
 




My Rating - 4 Stars!


The Queen and Prince Philip: The Early Years is a delightful read by Helen Cathcart.

I have never been a huge fan of the Royal family, but with recent events, I have become intrigued.

I am thrilled to have discovered this book, finding it lovely and sweet, as well as informative.

The author takes a look back at how Elizabeth and Philip meet and their family life that followed.

I'm not going to give much detail. Either you know a lot about them already, or you'll learn along the way. Actually, either way, you'll probably learn more through this book.

The writing is great, written in a British tone for sure. It's a great nod to the long romance between the couple.

This is definitely worth a read for anyone interested in the Royal family.




Saturday, April 3, 2021

How to Catch a Prince (Chester Falls #1) by Ana Ashley

 



Amazon Link   - Available in KU  





When you’re faking a relationship, the last thing you should do is fall in love...especially with a prince.

Charlie is back in his hometown of Chester Falls for his sister's wedding. What he needs is a date to keep him away from the wandering hands of his ex.

Prince Kristof of Lydovia, or simply Kris, needs an escape from the latest press scandal. Hiding away in an American small town doesn't mean he can't pretend to not be royal, or be someone's boyfriend. Especially when that someone keeps falling all over him, literally.

Intense chemistry
A family wedding
Too many secrets

When their fake relationship starts to feel very real, and the press closes in, how will Kris and Charlie handle the fallout? And when the truth comes out will Charlie catch his prince, or will he let him go?

Welcome to Chester Falls, where you can expect to meet sweet men, sexy situations, interfering friends, lots of feels, and a happy ever after.

Book One in the Chester Falls series. How To Catch a Prince is a sweet and steamy MM romance novel with no cliffhanger, and a guaranteed HEA.




My Rating - 5 Stars!


Ana Ashley's How to Catch a Prince is a fun fake boyfriend romance. I love everything about this sweet read.

Kris is a prince who's famous and often in the tabloids. Following some negative press, he's sent to America to get away for a bit. Meanwhile, Charlie is off to his sister's wedding, which is awkward as his closeted ex will be there. But, low and behold, Kris and Charlie meet.

Kris is cute, fun, and lovable from the start. Charlie's a sympathetic character who gets to know Kris well before ever discovering that he's a prince. 

I adore that Charlie's an artist and the way he describes his passion. Even better, is the way Kris supports him and his passion. "It matters Charlie...Your dreams matter. You matter." Wow, total swoon moment.

I appreciate that the author explores some of the downfalls of being royalty, or famous in any way. Even better, I appreciate that Kris is not the next one in line, but rather his sister is.

Their meet cute is wonderful, but my favorite moment is when Kris knows he's fallen for Charlie. "...there was no way I'd burden Charlie with the knowledge that I had without a shadow of a doubt fallen for him." Omg, this is when I knew I had truly fallen in love with Kris myself.

Their story is told in alternating first person pov, expertly drawing the reader into the emotions and worlds of both characters. The writing is great, with a solid story and a good pace. The characters are well developed, including some of the important side characters.

Their story includes an eventful family wedding get-away, a closeted ex who won't take no for an answer, and some small town fun. There's humor and sweetness, as these two men naturally connect and fall in love.

How to Catch a Prince is perfect when you're in the mood for something light hearted with a dream-like quality. It's like a charming Hallmark movie. The story's romantic and dreamy, perfectly capturing that fairytale feel. And best of all, it's the start of a series, leaving me excited for more from this small town. And, oh lord, I can't wait to learn more about Charlie's family. 



Friday, April 2, 2021

RELEASE BLITZ, EXCERPT, GIVEAWAY & REVIEW - MF - Runaway Royal by Wendi Zwaduk

 

Runaway Royal by Wendi Zwaduk

Word Count: 50,742
Book Length: NOVEL
Pages: 198
Heat Rating: Sizzling
Sexometer: 2

Genres:

CONTEMPORARY
EROTIC ROMANCE
ROYALS

Add to Goodreads




Will this runaway royal ever find her place…and true love?

All Princess Catherine Zara of Lysianna wants to do is attend college like everyone else her age. So she’s a royal and requires a security guard to move about in public, but if she goes to university, she doesn’t have to marry the man chosen for her. He’s not her true love, so why torture herself? All she has to do to get her life started is to run away to the US…

And then she meets Luke.

Luke Cobb wants to survive college with a degree in studio art and guarantees that he can show his paintings in the local galleries. All he needs is the right break to get his work mainstream and the right woman to stoke his dormant muse. When he meets Zara, he’s smitten and his creativity sparks.

Except, she’s a princess and he’s a commoner, which could be a big problem…

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My Rating - 3.5 Stars!

Runaway Royal is a fun royalty romance by Wendi Zwaduk. 

I probably shouldn't like it as much as I do, but I couldn't put it down. First I fell for the secrecy and connection, later for the intrigue and danger. 

Zara's a princess who wants to live a normal life. Finally getting to be free as a college student, she's stuck being secretive and trying to not let anyone know who she is. 

Meanwhile, Luke's a neighbor who's an art student with a tough past.

This is insta love  and it's is all too real with this one. Seriously, stuff happens way faster than I could have ever expected. It's way out there, but it's still enjoyable. Crazy, but fun. And, damn, they are effin hot together. 

And then there's the family issues and danger. It's a tale of power and a fight for the crown and Zara is caught in the middle. 

I love Charles, the future king. He's truly wonderful. 

Overall, Runaway Royal is all so damn far fetched, but I enjoy it none the less. Wendi Zwaduk kept me riveted throughout. And the ending is great. 

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“I can do this.” Princess Catherine shored up her courage. She was a royal. A princess. She could do anything she set her mind to—except stand up to the king and queen.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her parents, the king and queen of Lysianna, wouldn’t allow her to head to another country on her own. They insisted she be an advisor to her brother, the future king. Charlie could handle himself and he’d be a great king—whenever the time came.

If she didn’t practice what she wanted to say, she’d flounder and this was not the time to lose her nerve. She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Mother, Father, I need to speak with you. I’ve completed two years of online schooling towards a degree in art history and I’m going to Kenton State College in the United States to finish it.” Did she sound convincing enough?

She’d already completed her application for acceptance on campus, chosen her classes for the first semester and landed a good apartment in a building just across from the main portion of the campus. Her plane ticket had been paid for and she’d packed most of her things. All she needed to do was tell her parents she’d be leaving.

She abandoned her image in the mirror and resumed packing the last of her things—her brushes, photos and stuffed rabbit in her bag. She’d come back, but she wasn’t sure when. Sadness filled her mind. Change would be hard—she’d only ever lived in the castle—but she needed to move forward with her life. She’d never be happy living as part of the court. Even if she did nothing more than teach an art class or run a portion of a museum back home, she’d be happy and doing something with her life.

Her lady-in-waiting, Corinne, hurried into the room. “I guess you’re ready to go.” She folded her arms. “Want me to go with you? I should.”

She had plans for her lady and wasn’t about to disclose them now. Corinne was terrible with secrets and would’ve told her parents before the point of no return. “It’s handled.”

Corinne sat on the bed. “What am I going to do with myself? I have nothing to do if you’re not here. They might let me go.”

“They won’t.” She closed her bag. “They like you. If my brother wasn’t gay, they’d have married you off to him by now.”

“But he is gay.” Corinne groaned. “Sucks.”

Her lady hadn’t been shy about her crush on Charlie. In the whole of their time together, Corinne had insisted to Catherine she wanted to marry Charlie. The problem? Besides Charlie being gay, he wasn’t going to marry Corinne simply to make an heir. He refused to change just for the royal line.

“Your parents would rather you marry Duke Elmore. He’s handsome,” Corinne said. “If you’re into older guys.”

Catherine shivered. “Older isn’t the half of it. He’s almost twenty years older than me, he’s not handsome at all and I don’t like him. I don’t want to be married to someone who sees me as a ticket to the good life. He wants a title beyond duke.” Her stepmother would never understand. She’d married the king, despite their ten-year age difference, just to have a title.

“So you’re going to America to avoid him?”

“No.” She simply refused to marry someone out of duty, not love. “I want to finish my degree. Art makes me happy. Him? Not so much.”

“Well, it’s time to talk to your parents.” Corinne walked with her to the corridor. “Need me to do anything?”

“Nope. I’ve got this handled.” Catherine gave her bag to the butler. “Thank you.” She shored herself up again and headed down to the throne room. The car was ready and once she reached the airport, the plane would be waiting to whisk her to the States. Even if her parents said no, she’d left nothing to chance.

“Catherine.” Her stepmother, Eloise, closed her book. “You look determined. Have you made a decision concerning the duke?”

“I have.” She clasped her hands together. “I refuse to marry him.” She stood tall. “I’ve made a choice about my future, too.”

“Oh?” Her father finally looked up from his paperwork. “What have you decided?”

She sucked in a ragged breath, then sighed. “Mother, Father, I’m attending college.”

Her father tipped his head and said nothing. Her stepmother gasped. “Why? You’re a royal. You don’t have to do schooling. Elmore will take care of you and you can play with your art all you want. Royals don’t dirty their hands with studies.”

Her stepmother spit the words out like sour candies. Catherine didn’t care. She had to focus. “I want a degree in art history. I’d like to learn about the art here in Lysianna and around the world—like my mother used to know.”

“Interesting,” her father said. He tapped his pen on the table. “Why do you want to follow in your mother’s footsteps?”

She’d prepared for this question. “I need to have something that’s mine. I love art and I’m dying to continue my studies.” She had to keep her explanation short and sweet. The more she talked, the greater the chance her parents would coerce her to change her mind. “I want something to hold on to that reminds me of my mother. I don’t remember her and this is my private link.”

“She’s gone,” her stepmother snapped.

“Let her have this, Queen. It’s her choice,” her father said. “She’ll get bored after a year or she’ll find this is the thing she wants to do. As for Elmore, he can wait. Or maybe he can’t and he’ll choose someone else. Doesn’t matter to me. He’s a pest.”

She wasn’t going to get bored, but if her father thought Elmore was a pest, then why try to palm her off on him?

“What about Charles?” her stepmother said. “He should be the one to go first. Yes, he deserves a degree.”

“He already has one.” Catherine gritted her teeth. Their parents didn’t know Charlie well. He hated being referred to as Charles and he wasn’t interested in going to college again. Charlie had attained a degree on his own and had his plan for making his own way without their parents to intervene. Now was her chance to do the same.

“Anyway, I’m leaving.” She turned on her heel and left the room. If she looked back, she risked changing her mind. Only forward now.

“You’re what?” Her stepmother chased after her. “You cannot. We need to arrange lodgings and security and everything else. You’ll need handlers and Elmore should accompany you for protection. Or he should set up a security detail so he can keep you safe, but stay here to run his businesses.”

God, no. Catherine headed through the foyer to the waiting car. “Goodbye, Mother.” The idea of calling her stepmother Mother annoyed her. She’d had a mother and the queen wasn’t a very good substitute.

“Catherine.” Her stepmother caught up to her. “We’ll summon Elmore. You cannot make the flight unprotected.”

She sighed. “He’s old enough to be my father and he’s not attractive, so no.” She tossed her bag onto the seat. “I’ll be fine. No one in the United States knows me, so I won’t need the huge protection you’re planning.” She’d have her roommate in her new apartment and a few transplanted palace security guards around, but out of sight.

“Take Corinne, please?” Her stepmother pushed Corinne at her. “You can’t go alone. And don’t forget, you need to have an approved consort by the time of your official portrait reveal.”

“Fine.” Catherine nodded to her lady-in-waiting. “Let’s go.” She ducked into the car without bothering for hugs or kisses from her stepmother. That wasn’t her stepmother’s style. Her father hadn’t left the throne room. Her stepmother glared at her, but didn’t otherwise show emotion. She wouldn’t dare. Any bit of cracking might show she was human and the people of Lysianna didn’t think she had emotions. She wanted to say goodbye to her brother, but he wasn’t even in the country.

Catherine settled on the seat and sighed. “That worked out exactly as I planned.”

“What about me?” Corinne asked. “You said I’d stay here.”

“I lied.” She winked. “I couldn’t go totally alone. They’re right. I do need someone with me that I can trust.” Well, mostly trust. “I packed you a bag and added your name to the charter. You’re flying with me.”

Corinne’s eyes widened. “My princess.” She grinned. “Naughty.”

She sighed again. “I’ve never been naughty a day in my life. Crafty, maybe, but never naughty.”

“You’ve lived in your brother’s shadow for too long.”

“He’ll be king and I won’t hold the throne. Even if something happens to him, they won’t let me be queen, so why not have something that’s mine?” Catherine asked. “I don’t mind.” She didn’t. “This way I’m out from under their thumb and can experience life.” She couldn’t wait for the next chapter to start. There was a great big world out there just waiting for her to explore it.

There was the tricky thing about her needing a consort, but she had plenty of time. The portrait reveal wasn’t for another year. The world wouldn’t wait a year—not when her consort might be out there somewhere.

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Wendi Zwaduk

Wendi Zwaduk is a multi-published, award-winning author of more than one-hundred short stories and novels. She’s been writing since 2008 and published since 2009. Her stories range from the contemporary and paranormal to BDSM and LGBTQ themes. No matter what the length, her works are always hot, but with a lot of heart. She enjoys giving her characters a second chance at love, no matter what the form. She’s been the runner up in the Kink Category at Love Romances Café as well as nominated at the LRC for best contemporary, best ménage and best anthology. Her books have made it to the bestseller lists on Amazon.com and the former AllRomance Ebooks. She also writes under the name of Megan Slayer.

When she’s not writing, she spends time with her husband and son as well as three dogs and three cats. She enjoys art, music and racing, but football is her sport of choice.

You can find out more about Wendi on her website or on her blog. You can also find her on Instagram, Bookbub and Amazon.

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Giveaway

Enter to win a fabulous gift package and get a First For Romance Gift Card!

Runaway Royal by Wendi Zwaduk

WENDI ZWADUK IS GIVING AWAY THIS FABULOUS PRIZE TO ONE LUCKY WINNER. ENTER HERE FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A LOVELY GIFT PACKAGE AND GET A FREE EBOOK FROM THE AUTHOR! A FIRST FOR ROMANCE GIFT CARD! Notice: This competition ends on 13TH April 2021 at 5pm GMT. Competition hosted by Totally Entwined Group.

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Saturday, January 30, 2021

RELEASE BLITZ & REVIEW - The Reluctant Royal by Catherine Curzon & Eleanor Harkstead

 

The Reluctant Royal Catherine Curzon & Eleanor Harkstead

Word Count: 93,492 

Book Length: SUPER NOVEL 

Pages: 352 

Genres: CONTEMPORARY, GAY, GLBTQI, ROYALS, 

THRILLERS AND SUSPENSE

Add to Goodreads


As an unseen enemy draws near, a royal bodyguard must choose between duty and love.

Risking his life to save a princess is all in a day’s work for Sergeant Joe Wenlock, a Close Protection Officer detailed to protect the royal family. After months of recovery following his brush with death, Joe’s ready to return to duties. But Alejandro Fuente-Sastre, as infuriating as he is fabulous, is the last royal Joe wants to be assigned to.

Alejandro isn’t quite the sort of queen that the British royal family is used to, but when Joe learns that Her Majesty’s step-grandson is also drag bombshell Paloma Picante, it makes his job a whole lot tougher. But is there more to Alejo than sulking and sequins?

When Alejandro’s life is threatened by an unseen tormentor who progresses from internet trolling to arson and violence, Joe must keep his charge safe from harm.

Living in close quarters with the man he shouldn’t be falling for, Joe begins to discover his true self. But as Alejandro’s enemy prowls ever nearer, Joe must make the impossible choice between duty and love.

Reader advisory: This book contains instances of homophobia and homophobic language, cyberbullying and threats, harassment, terrorism, drug use and abuse, Islamophobia and suicide. There are mentions of domestic abuse, including physical, emotional and gaslighting.

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My Rating - 3.5 Stars!


The Reluctant Royal is a decent royal romance by Catherine Curzon and Eleanor Harkstead. 

Joe and Alejo are interesting characters. Joe's marriage is far from perfect, with a wife he was "forced" into marrying.  He's closeted, stuck in  a loveless marriage, and completely taken by his new charge. 

 And poor Alejandro has major family issues, a stalker, and is dating a complete ass. Rich and famous, bullied at school, and under way too much pressure. His abuse is a tough read. 

What follows is a forbidden romance between bodyguard Joe and his charge Alejo. But adding to their story is the fact that Alejo and Joe have already met, despite Joe not knowing it. The drag queen scenes are great, and the addition of Joe's attraction to Alejo's drag queen persona adds some great complexity to their story. 

It's an easy read, with plenty of layers. Slow burn is the word here! Overall, it's sad, sweet, and full of action. And cheating too, of course. 

The writing definitely fits the feel of a royal romance. It's not my preferred style, but it's perfect for this book, as it's written in a more formal style. It's slow going throughout. I enjoyed the mystery and danger though. In actuality, I appreciate it more now, looking back on it, then I did while reading it. Weird, but that's probably due to the slow pace.

The Reluctant Royal is a thrilling tale with a drag queen, royalty, and plenty of suspense. The authors put these men in plenty of danger during their developing romance and had me shocked at the end. 

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Joe took another sip of tonic water. He wished it contained gin, because being the only sober person at the table was hardly his idea of fun, but as he watched the bottle of champagne being passed around, he knew he didn’t really want any alcohol anyway. He couldn’t go back to work the worse for wear. Not after months of sick leave. Best foot forward, as his dad would say.

And it wasn’t only his decision not to drink that made Joe an oddity at the table. These were all Wendy’s friends, out for her birthday. Solicitors, legal types, who’d spent most of the evening already talking shop. Joe looked on, his mind on other things. Would he cope on his first day back? Would they trust him to ever do a good job again?

“So, Joe, we’re taking bets on who you’re going to be coddling next week!” Wendy put her second bottle of Prosecco on the table and settled into her seat. Her leg brushed Joe’s momentarily and she shifted, putting air between them again. “Izzy thinks one of the Fergie duo. Barnaby’s bet his bonus on Wills and Kate. I think it’s going to be the queen. The top job for a top bobby!”

“I don’t know yet.” Joe shrugged. “Maybe one of the corgis?”

“I bet you do know, and you’re teasing us!” Wendy’s friend Jemima brayed. “Have you signed the Official Secrets Act?”

Joe turned the plastic stirrer through his fizzing drink, rattling the ice cubes against the glass. He didn’t pester Wendy’s friends about confidential matters, so why did they think he was fair game? “As you know, if I had, I wouldn’t be allowed to say.”

“Whoever it is,” Wendy told them, “let’s hope they don’t put my poor old hubby in hospital again! He’s getting too old to play the action hero!”

Wendy’s friends laughed, and Joe tried to look happy, but he really didn’t want to be reminded of the accident. The headlamps coming straight for him in the evening darkness—and after he’d pushed the Duchess of Albany out of the way, there had been no time for Joe to leap aside. Just that crushing pain as the car slammed into him. Joe had slumped over the bonnet and found himself eye to eye with the idiot who’d just tried to deliberately run down the duchess.

“He’s not that old!” Verity giggled. She patted Joe’s leg and he tried not to flinch. “And still in fine form, too, Wendy, you lucky thing!”

“Lucky old me!” Wendy’s smile looked like a grimace. How would she know what form her husband was in when it had been over six months since they’d so much as kissed, let alone more? She refilled her glass and whispered to Joe, “For God’s sake, have a real drink.”

“Come on, you know I can’t,” Joe replied. “I can’t risk it. First day back and all that.”

“It’s my birthday.” Her pink lips grew thin and she drew in a deep, sharp breath, as sharp as her fresh blonde bob. Then she put her lips to his ear and hissed, “Stop showing me up, Joe, have a drink.”

“I’m drinking a stunt gin and tonic. That’s enough.” Joe held up the glass. It had the brand name of a well-known gin printed down its side. “They do tests, you know. I want to be nice and clean when they poke through my bodily fluids, thank you very much.”

“Barnaby!” Wendy subtly turned away from her husband, the centre of attention all over again. He was dismissed, just as he had been so many times over the five years of their miserable married life. “So, we’re all dying to know how your Tokyo merger’s going. It’s all everyone’s talking about. Tell us all the latest from the front line of big money!”

Joe sat his glass down on the table. The last thing he cared about was Barnaby and his bloody merger, which he’d heard snippets of for weeks as Wendy had made business calls at home. Barnaby this, Barnaby that, ‘Barnaby’s going places.’

So am I.

Joe nudged his seat back and stood to leave. Verity glanced at him, as if she was surprised he was going, but her attention turned to Wendy and Barnaby. Joe wasn’t sure where he’d go, but he needed fresh air. He wanted to be away from loud drinkers, away from Wendy’s carping. His head was pounding and as he stepped outside the pub, a car drove by close to the kerb. He instinctively jumped back, pressing himself against the wall behind him.

Calm down, Sergeant Wenlock, he told himself.

The night was cold, as cold as the pub had been hot, and Joe took a deep breath of autumn air. London tonight seemed even more surreal than ever, the streets a curious mix of the same well-dressed professionals who filled Wendy’s group and those who had embraced Halloween, escaping the real world in the form of cats and devils, vampires and aliens, some already stumbling, others only just starting out. And there in the middle of them was Joe, who would rather be anywhere else but there.

Maybe Joe should’ve thrown aside his tweed jacket and sensible open-necked shirt for a costume. He’d have made quite a good Frankenstein’s monster, maybe, though that said, when he’d first been taken to hospital and had plaster casts and bandages in places he hadn’t thought possible, he’d have been a brilliant cursed mummy.

Joe decided to go for a wander. Once he was working again, he’d have little time to call his own. He’d take his freedom when and where he could. Music blared from pubs and bars, people laughed, taxis pulled up and disgorged their passengers. And up ahead, someone was shouting.

Bloody people, can’t hold their drinks.

“Don’t you ever, ever bloody do that again! Do you hear?”

It was a man’s voice up ahead. Joe could see two figures, one in a black suit with a skeleton painted on it in white. He was wagging his finger—jabbing it—at the red-headed woman walking beside him in heels so high Joe wondered how she didn’t fall flat on her face.

“It’s so important to me, so fucking important, and all you have to do is just nod, and instead, you’re pissing about, making a fucking joke of yourself!”

“I’m sorry!” Her voice sounded almost desperate and she recoiled from her companion’s stabbing finger, jerking away as though it were the blade of a knife. She hurried after the skeleton when he stalked onwards, scooping up the silken hem of her shimmering red evening gown to follow. “Don’t be angry, I’m sorry!”

“I’m sorry!” he mimicked. Joe could almost see him in profile. The man’s face was disguised by makeup that turned his face into a skull.

Seemed a bit rich for him to be accusing someone of making a joke of themselves.

“The man’s an investor in my film, and I wanted him to know that I’m serious about my art, and then you’re there hanging over my shoulder, interrupting and gobbing on about God knows what!” The man clenched his hands. Even they were tricked out in skeleton makeup. “Why do you wind me up like this? You do it on purpose, for fuck’s sake, then it’s all I’m sorry! Well, you bloody well will be!”

“He was laughing too,” the woman said, a fresh note of desperation in her sing-song voice. No, not desperation. Fear. “He was having a good time, you’re not thinking straight! Just—please, don’t be like this!”

“My thinking’s perfectly clear!” The man gave a long sniff then, and Joe knew exactly what was going on.

The drugs are talking.

The man stopped where he was and raised his hand at the woman. The way she flinched back told Joe that this wasn’t the first time it had happened. As she drew away, he saw her makeup clearly, a glamourous sugar skull in a rainbow of colours that nearly took his breath away.

“Please don’t,” was all she said.

Joe increased his pace. The man’s raised hand trembled but in a split second he slapped the woman across her painted face.

Joe ran.

He was on the couple in only a few steps, and interposed himself between them. He didn’t look back at the woman, but could hear her frightened breathing just behind him. “That’s enough. Time for you to go.”

“And who the fuck are you, James Bond?” the man sneered.

“I’m not going to stand around and watch a bully like you slap a woman.” Joe clenched his fists, resisting the temptation to give Skeletor a taste of his own medicine.

“A woman? That’s a fucking joke. She’s a drag queen—a bloke!”

Joe turned to look at the woman.

A bloke?

Was she?

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Eleanor Harkstead

Eleanor Harkstead likes to dash about in nineteenth-century costume, in bonnet or cravat as the mood takes her. She can occasionally be found wandering old graveyards. Eleanor is very fond of chocolate, wine, tweed waistcoats and nice pens. Her large collection of vintage hats would rival Hedda Hopper's.

Originally from the south-east of England, Eleanor now lives somewhere in the Midlands with a large ginger cat who resembles a Viking.

You can follow Eleanor on Facebook and Twitter

Catherine Curzon


Catherine Curzon  is a royal historian who writes on all matters of 18th century. Her work has been featured on many platforms and Catherine has also spoken at various venues including the Royal Pavilion, Brighton, and Dr Johnson’s House. 

Catherine holds a Master’s degree in Film and when not dodging the furies of the guillotine, writes fiction set deep in the underbelly of Georgian London.

She lives in Yorkshire atop a ludicrously steep hill.

You can follow Catherine on Facebook and Twitter and take a look at her Website.

 

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