RELEASE BLITZ & REVIEW - Bossy by N.R. Walker

 

Bossy | NR Walker

Genre: Gay Romance

Release date: March 4, 2021

Amazon

Goodreads Link

No names, no details, no complications.

Michael Pietersen isn’t up for complications. He’s one of Sydney’s fastest-moving career-focused corporate realtors, and the only thing he has time for is one-night stands with zero fuss.

Bryson Schroeder’s back home from two years overseas with plans to leave his family’s hotel empire and begin his own business ventures. Out with his friends to celebrate his return, he sees a gorgeous blond man across the bar, and with barely a smile and a raised eyebrow, they leave together for a night of incredible chemistry.

But the rules are clear: no names, no details, no complications.

But one night becomes one more night, and eventually the arrangement suits them both for weeks . . . until their professional and personal worlds collide. With their hearts already on the line, Michael and Bry need to decide just how complicated they want to get.

______________________________________________________________________

My Rating - 5 Stars!

Bossy is a wonderful standalone romance by NR Walker. 

Ohhh...two hot men, weekly hookups, and totally anonymous. Hell yes. Until things get more personal, as the fuck buddies get to know one another better.

I love Michael and Bryson and their story. They start off with the agreement to work once a week. I absolutely love the names they call one another in their phones. "Bossy as fuck" and "Sexy and Fuck." Just pure entertainment around this, as it's on par with their typical banter. 

And then they end up meeting over a business deal. Enter the craziness of being involved with someone casually and then being thrown into the shock of their world.

So we have casual to boyfriends. Nameless hookups to business associates. So much fun as they fall in love with their no strings attached hook up.

I adore these men together, especially the way they support one another, helping each other to be the best person they can be. It's perfect.

There's plenty of obstacles for these men though, including family issues and family pressure. Dear lord, I hate Michael's father.

As usual, I love the author's writing style. Written in alternating pov, the characters are intriguing, the storyline entertaining, and the pace is seamless. The secondary characters are charming and add a lot to the story as well. 

And, ohhh how I love the way the author brings Sydney to life. As I miss that city so much, it's beautiful to read about the charm of Darling Harbour, and of Circular Quay, York Street, the QVB, and more. I love that city and the author fully brings me back to walking those wonderful streets. I am beyond grateful. 

Overall, Bossy is a delightful romance. I love everything about this NR Walker gem. Once again she's impressed me with this sweet and fun hookup to lovers romance. 

________________________________________________________________________

N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance. She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn’t have it any other way.

She is many things: a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who live in her head, who don’t let her sleep at night unless she gives them life with words.

She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things… but likes it even more when they fall in love.

She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.

She’s been writing ever since…

For more about N.R. Walker you can find her at:

Website

Facebook

Facebook Author Page

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Audible

Bookbub

Email:

nrwalker@nrwalker.net

REVIEW - Tic-Tac-Mistletoe by NR Walker

  

Tic-Tac-Mistletoe | NR Walker

Genre: MM Holiday Romance

Release date: November 27, 2020

Tropes:

One Aussie, one American 

 A snowstorm,

Christmas cookies, 

A dog called Chutney 

 Laughs, tears, and all the feels

Goodreads

Amazon US  *  Amazon Universal

 

Hamish Kenneally is moving from Australia to the US for a fresh start, beginning with Christmas at his sister’s place in Idaho. When a snowstorm diverts his plane to Montana and leaves him stranded two days before Christmas, he hires a car and drives right into a blizzard.

Ren Brooks has always called Hartbridge, Montana, and his family hardware store, home. After a few failed attempts at love, he’s resigned to being single forever—after all, no guy wants to stay in his sleepy little town for long. And after his dad’s passing earlier in the year, Ren’s Christmas is looking bleak. But when a car runs off the road in front of his property, Ren pulls the driver out and takes him home to get out of the cold.

With the storm and the holidays leaving Hamish with nowhere else to go, Ren kindly offers a place to stay. Hamish is certain he’s crashed right into a Hallmark Christmas movie, despite more car delays and road closures and the prospect of not seeing his sister for Christmas. And with help from Hamish, Ren is beginning to feel a little Christmas cheer.

These two unlikely strangers have more in common than they first realise, and after two days of Christmas decorations, cookies, and non-stop conversation, it looks like Christmas might be saved after all.

My Rating - Stars!

Tic-Tac Mistletoe is a fabulous Christmas romance. This NR Walker tale had me hooked from the start. I love, love, love this book!

Hamish's journey from Australia to the US doesn't go quite as planned, as he gets stranded in a snowstorm. I adore that this is the first time he's ever even seen snow. Poor Hamish.

Luckily, Ren is the man who finds him. Ren's a small town man, never planning on finding love, as the pickings are slim. 

Did I mention that I love this book? 

These two are simply fantastic together. Hamish brings tons of love and life into Ren's world, both of which were sadly missing. Meanwhile, Ren gives Hamish a new purpose and new start in life. I just love them together. Two lost souls, both finding love in each other. Swoon.

The writing is fabulous, with alternating 1st person narrator voices that are absolutely fabulous and charming. It's full of sarcasm and quick wit, keeping me entertained throughout. Seriously, Hamish is so damn loveable and funny. 

One note though, if you're looking for steamy scenes, this one doesn't have any. It's all sweet and more sweet, with a fade to black scene.

Tic-Tac Mistletoe is the perfect low-angst, cavity inducing holiday romance. This NR Walker mix of snow, forced proximity, a log cabin, and humor is an absolute gem! Just read it and enjoy all the holiday feels that come with this romance. It's a wonderful little escape to get you in the mood for the holidays.

A totally catastrophic, unmitigated disaster.

What is a totally catastrophic, unmitigated disaster, you might ask?

Let me break it down for you real quick.

My life, my relationship, my job, my plans, my future, and this whole damn trip.

So, basically me.

Me.

I am the totally catastrophic unmitigated disaster.

Hamish Kenneally, thirty-one-year-old Australian, who quit his shitty job and sold his shitty apartment and left behind his shitty life in Sydney, packed his said-shitty life into two suitcases, and boarded a plane to spend Christmas with his sister in God-knows-where, Idaho, USA.

Well, Christmas first. Then two years, at least, in America trying to unshitify his life.

And if the trip to said God-knows-where, Idaho, was any indication of just how spectacularly extra-shitified my life was going to get, I should have turned around and stayed right where I was.

Because if the flight from Sydney to LA was bad, which it was, then the second flight, LA to Spokane, made the first flight look like a joy ride.

Because I didn’t get to Spokane, did I?

Oh no, of course I didn’t.

Because you see, Christmastime in America is in winter. Which is weird enough for this Australian. Christmas should be hot summer days at the beach, seafood and salads, beers and watching the bronzed surfers and drunk foreigners at Bondi. That is what Christmas should be.

None of this “sorry folks; to avoid flying into a massive snow blizzard, we’re being diverted to Missoula, Montana” crap the captain of the plane said when we were halfway there. Like the screaming baby in the seat next to me, or the vomiting lady in the row in front of me weren’t bad enough. Like we had any choice about which direction we were flying into.

I had no choice. I was now going to Montana. In a freaking blizzard, of all things. Ever been on a plane that flew into a snowstorm? There is zero joy in that kind of turbulence, believe me. It would also explain the screaming baby and the vomiting woman. And the man behind me saying Hail Mary’s . . . which you’d think might be comforting. But oh boy, is it ever not. Especially when he yelled the prayer every time we hit a particularly large pothole in the sky on the descent. Honestly, if this flight was a scene in a movie, you’d think it was too ridiculous to be real.

After the plane landed—to which I would have clapped and cheered like everyone else if I wasn’t stuck in the brace position after trying to kiss my own arse goodbye—we were kicked off the plane without so much as a good luck in the wrong bloody state.

So there I was, a clueless Aussie, after flying for twenty hellish-hours and now a few hundred kilometres from where I was supposed to be, trying to wrangle two overweight suitcases down the concourse, when one little wheel on my suitcase broke.

Because of course it did.

Frazzled and trying not to cry— Yes, cry. A thirty-one-year-old man can cry; shove your toxic masculinity in your cakehole and stop judging me. I was having a jetlag-fuelled shitastic day meltdown, trying to keep my shit together the best I could, and clearly not doing it very well. I was allowed a little saltwater leakage.

Anyway, getting back to my story. I tried to call my sister.

No signal.

Because of course there’s not.

So, taking a deep breath and willing myself not to spiral, I found my car rental kiosk. Finally, something is going right. “I have a car booked,” I said, trying to keep my now-broken suitcase upright with my foot while rifling through my backpack for my booking confirmation and driver’s licence. After dropping my passport and half the contents from my backpack all over the floor, then scrambling to collect it all while still trying to keep my suitcase upright, I handed everything over with a flourish of triumph. “Oh, that flight was the worst,” I said, sagging onto the counter. I was about to tell her all about my day from the ninth circle of hell when she looked up at me with that look.

You know the one.

The look of superficial appeasement before they cut you off at the knees. “I’m sorry, sir. But I don’t have a reservation under your name.”

I stared at her. My brain short-circuited and the will to live left my body. It was an actual out-of-body experience, I’m sure of it. I could see myself staring at her, mouth gaping like I’d been lobotomised.

Because of course they didn’t have my booking.

Why would they? My rental car was waiting for me in Spokane. In Washington. Not in freaking Montana.

“Oh,” I whispered, and my left eye twitched. “That’s nice.” I looked around the airport, at the line of annoyed people behind me. “Excellent. I’ve seen that movie where Tom Hanks lives in an airport. It wasn’t so bad. Could be worse. Could’ve been the one where he’s stuck on the island, I guess. Though I didn’t pack a volleyball, so that would’ve sucked.”

She blinked and tap-tap-tapped away at her keyboard. “But sir, we’ve had a lot of cancelled flights today because of the weather. I can arrange a vehicle for you, if you’d like?”

Oh, my sweet baby Jesus in a manger, why didn’t she lead with that?

N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance. She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn’t have it any other way.

She is many things: a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who live in her head, who don’t let her sleep at night unless she gives them life with words.

She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things… but likes it even more when they fall in love.

She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.

She’s been writing ever since…

For more about N.R. Walker you can find her at:

Website

Facebook

Facebook Author Page

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Audible

Bookbub

Email:

nrwalker@nrwalker.net

RELEASE DAY EXCERPT- Tic-Tac-Mistletoe by NR Walker

 

Tic-Tac-Mistletoe | NR Walker

Genre: MM Holiday Romance

Release date: November 27, 2020

Tropes:

One Aussie, one American 

 A snowstorm,

Christmas cookies, 

A dog called Chutney 

 Laughs, tears, and all the feels

Goodreads

Amazon US  *  Amazon Universal

 

Hamish Kenneally is moving from Australia to the US for a fresh start, beginning with Christmas at his sister’s place in Idaho. When a snowstorm diverts his plane to Montana and leaves him stranded two days before Christmas, he hires a car and drives right into a blizzard.

Ren Brooks has always called Hartbridge, Montana, and his family hardware store, home. After a few failed attempts at love, he’s resigned to being single forever—after all, no guy wants to stay in his sleepy little town for long. And after his dad’s passing earlier in the year, Ren’s Christmas is looking bleak. But when a car runs off the road in front of his property, Ren pulls the driver out and takes him home to get out of the cold.

With the storm and the holidays leaving Hamish with nowhere else to go, Ren kindly offers a place to stay. Hamish is certain he’s crashed right into a Hallmark Christmas movie, despite more car delays and road closures and the prospect of not seeing his sister for Christmas. And with help from Hamish, Ren is beginning to feel a little Christmas cheer.

These two unlikely strangers have more in common than they first realise, and after two days of Christmas decorations, cookies, and non-stop conversation, it looks like Christmas might be saved after all.

A totally catastrophic, unmitigated disaster.

What is a totally catastrophic, unmitigated disaster, you might ask?

Let me break it down for you real quick.

My life, my relationship, my job, my plans, my future, and this whole damn trip.

So, basically me.

Me.

I am the totally catastrophic unmitigated disaster.

Hamish Kenneally, thirty-one-year-old Australian, who quit his shitty job and sold his shitty apartment and left behind his shitty life in Sydney, packed his said-shitty life into two suitcases, and boarded a plane to spend Christmas with his sister in God-knows-where, Idaho, USA.

Well, Christmas first. Then two years, at least, in America trying to unshitify his life.

And if the trip to said God-knows-where, Idaho, was any indication of just how spectacularly extra-shitified my life was going to get, I should have turned around and stayed right where I was.

Because if the flight from Sydney to LA was bad, which it was, then the second flight, LA to Spokane, made the first flight look like a joy ride.

Because I didn’t get to Spokane, did I?

Oh no, of course I didn’t.

Because you see, Christmastime in America is in winter. Which is weird enough for this Australian. Christmas should be hot summer days at the beach, seafood and salads, beers and watching the bronzed surfers and drunk foreigners at Bondi. That is what Christmas should be.

None of this “sorry folks; to avoid flying into a massive snow blizzard, we’re being diverted to Missoula, Montana” crap the captain of the plane said when we were halfway there. Like the screaming baby in the seat next to me, or the vomiting lady in the row in front of me weren’t bad enough. Like we had any choice about which direction we were flying into.

I had no choice. I was now going to Montana. In a freaking blizzard, of all things. Ever been on a plane that flew into a snowstorm? There is zero joy in that kind of turbulence, believe me. It would also explain the screaming baby and the vomiting woman. And the man behind me saying Hail Mary’s . . . which you’d think might be comforting. But oh boy, is it ever not. Especially when he yelled the prayer every time we hit a particularly large pothole in the sky on the descent. Honestly, if this flight was a scene in a movie, you’d think it was too ridiculous to be real.

After the plane landed—to which I would have clapped and cheered like everyone else if I wasn’t stuck in the brace position after trying to kiss my own arse goodbye—we were kicked off the plane without so much as a good luck in the wrong bloody state.

So there I was, a clueless Aussie, after flying for twenty hellish-hours and now a few hundred kilometres from where I was supposed to be, trying to wrangle two overweight suitcases down the concourse, when one little wheel on my suitcase broke.

Because of course it did.

Frazzled and trying not to cry— Yes, cry. A thirty-one-year-old man can cry; shove your toxic masculinity in your cakehole and stop judging me. I was having a jetlag-fuelled shitastic day meltdown, trying to keep my shit together the best I could, and clearly not doing it very well. I was allowed a little saltwater leakage.

Anyway, getting back to my story. I tried to call my sister.

No signal.

Because of course there’s not.

So, taking a deep breath and willing myself not to spiral, I found my car rental kiosk. Finally, something is going right. “I have a car booked,” I said, trying to keep my now-broken suitcase upright with my foot while rifling through my backpack for my booking confirmation and driver’s licence. After dropping my passport and half the contents from my backpack all over the floor, then scrambling to collect it all while still trying to keep my suitcase upright, I handed everything over with a flourish of triumph. “Oh, that flight was the worst,” I said, sagging onto the counter. I was about to tell her all about my day from the ninth circle of hell when she looked up at me with that look.

You know the one.

The look of superficial appeasement before they cut you off at the knees. “I’m sorry, sir. But I don’t have a reservation under your name.”

I stared at her. My brain short-circuited and the will to live left my body. It was an actual out-of-body experience, I’m sure of it. I could see myself staring at her, mouth gaping like I’d been lobotomised.

Because of course they didn’t have my booking.

Why would they? My rental car was waiting for me in Spokane. In Washington. Not in freaking Montana.

“Oh,” I whispered, and my left eye twitched. “That’s nice.” I looked around the airport, at the line of annoyed people behind me. “Excellent. I’ve seen that movie where Tom Hanks lives in an airport. It wasn’t so bad. Could be worse. Could’ve been the one where he’s stuck on the island, I guess. Though I didn’t pack a volleyball, so that would’ve sucked.”

She blinked and tap-tap-tapped away at her keyboard. “But sir, we’ve had a lot of cancelled flights today because of the weather. I can arrange a vehicle for you, if you’d like?”

Oh, my sweet baby Jesus in a manger, why didn’t she lead with that?

N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance. She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn’t have it any other way.

She is many things: a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who live in her head, who don’t let her sleep at night unless she gives them life with words.

She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things… but likes it even more when they fall in love.

She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.

She’s been writing ever since…

For more about N.R. Walker you can find her at:

Website

Facebook

Facebook Author Page

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Audible

Bookbub

Email:

nrwalker@nrwalker.net

RELEASE BLITZ, EXCERPT & REVIEW - Pieces of Us (Missing Pieces #3) by NR Walker

Title: Pieces of Us

Author: NR Walker

Series: Missing Pieces, Book 3

Genre: MM Romance

Goodreads Link

This is the final installment in this series and is not a standalone. Reading further will contain spoilers.

Amazon US   *  Amazon Universal

Missing Pieces Series, Book Three

As Justin’s recovery moves forward, Dallas dares to hope their lives are settling into their new normal. His money worries have eased, business is picking up, and best of all, Justin now laughs more than he frowns.

Justin’s memory still eludes him, but with each snippet or flashback, small pieces of his old life start to slot into place. He remembers more of Dallas and how perfectly happy their lives used to be, and with each passing day, Justin realises he can have that again.

But when someone from Justin’s past turns up, he discovers that not all the missing pieces are good, and sadly, he and Dallas also learn just what it means to live with a traumatic brain injury.

If Dallas and Justin have to fight for their Happily Ever After, then Dallas will stop at nothing—nothing—to give Justin the life he always wanted.

“. . . as I tried to put the puzzle of myself back together, it was the pieces of us that made me whole.”

____________________________________________________________________________

My Rating - 5 Stars!

NR Walker's Pieces of Us, the third and final book in the Missing Pieces series, is fabulous. 

 

Oh, how I have come to love these men through their journey. Justin's accident could have ended them, but instead it worked to further strengthen them. 

In this last installment of their tale, Justin is interested in restarting their sex lives, which leads to some entertaining, as well as serious moments. He's also dealing with his past, his present, and struggling to find his purpose in the world. 

The emotions are heavy in this series, fully bringing the reader into everything the men are experiencing. I laughed, I cried, and I fell in love with these men. The character development of these men is spectacular, but don't ever worry about their love, as that is present at every moment. Rather than worrying about love, this is the journey of two men finding their way through the worst of circumstances and traversing their new reality. Every single moment is amazing. 

The author continues to take these men on an intriguing journey, with these two fascinating characters. It's definitely a thought-provoking journey for the reader. Not many people are as strong as these two. I'm not a stickler for reality in my romances, but the author definitely takes these two on a path that is realistically possible and handles it with care. 

Most impressive of all however, is the way the author sprinkles plenty of light hearted moments throughout, keeping the seriousness from overwhelming the reader. Some of the dialogue had me laughing out loud.

Basically if you haven't started reading the Missing Pieces series yet, start now. The entire series is absolutely amazing, with this ending, Pieces of Us, being the perfect way to cap off the series. NR Walker was one of my early M/M reads, and she continues to be one of my favorite authors in the genre. 

____________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

Juss got up from his seat and sat on my lap. I had to pull my chair out a bit so he could fit, but he just sat right down and put his arm around my shoulder, his forehead pressed to mine. “Remember how you said we choose our own family?”

I nodded.

“Well, I’ve chosen mine.” He kissed me soundly. Then he picked up my fork and stabbed some meat and brought it to my lips. “Open wide.”

I laughed and he shoved the fork in my mouth. “You’re gonna feed me?” I asked.

“For all the times you helped me, now it’s your turn.”

He continued to feed me until my plate was empty and he even had some more of his own. It was fun and cute, we laughed a lot, and it had been far too long since we’d done anything fun and cute. The fact that he punctuated every forkful with a kiss made it even better.

He put the fork down and turned his full attention to me. “You know,” he said with a kiss. “I slept a lot today, so I’m not too tired.”

I chuckled because I was pretty sure I knew where he was going with this. “Is that so?”

He kissed me again, a little softer, more playful. “And we did get those test results back.”

I hummed, not too sure if he was up for anything rigorous. “You’re supposed to be on bed rest.”

He smiled. “So take me to bed.”

____________________________________________________________________________

N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance. She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn’t have it any other way.

She is many things: a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who live in her head, who don’t let her sleep at night unless she gives them life with words.

She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things… but likes it even more when they fall in love.

She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.

She’s been writing ever since…

For more about N.R. Walker you can find her at:

Website

Facebook Readers’ Group

Facebook Author Page

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Audible

Bookbub

Email:


nrwalker@nrwalker.net

RELEASE BLITZ, EXCERPT & REVIEW - Pieces of Me (Missing Pieces #2) by NR Walker

Title: Pieces of Me

Author: NR Walker

Series: Missing Pieces, Book 2

Standalone: No

Genre: MM Romance

Release date: June 26, 2020

Amazon US * Amazon Universal

Goodreads Link

Missing Pieces Series, Book Two

Justin’s recovery is slow, but any step forward is a win in Dallas’ eyes. Having always been a source of strength for Justin, even before the accident, Dallas is trying to find his feet again as he struggles to get some normalcy back in their lives.

But now, with added financial pressures and Justin’s ongoing medical needs, Dallas isn’t sure how much longer he can be the strong one.

As missing pieces of Justin’s memory return, Justin realises the physical side of their relationship is another piece of the puzzle he desperately wants to put back together. And as he gets to know Dallas all over again, he realises what his mind can’t remember, his heart can’t forget.

My Rating - 5+ Stars!

Pieces of Me is an extraordinary follow up to Pieces of You. This NR Walker series is brilliant. This book had my heart in it's clutches throughout. 

We fell in love with Justin and Dallas in the first book, with their exquisite story. Now, Justin's still comfortable with Dallas, knowing he makes him feel safe, but still lacks the memories. 

Everything about this story is spectacular. The men are amazing together; two men who clearly belong together. There love is so strong that it surpasses their memories. There isn't a complex plot in this book, just the two men trying to deal with their circumstances. And it's stunning.

The writing is stellar, with these two lovable characters and their complex journey. The author uses the strength of love as the key to this relationship, carrying these men through their tragedy. It is remarkably carried out and will forever have a special place in my heart. 

NR Walker is impressive in this powerful tale of love that last through any obstacle.  This remarkable journey of Justin and Dallas is a must read. Do yourself a favor and read Pieces of You, followed by Pieces of Me. You won't regret it!

“Did you say accounts?” Justin asked, nodding toward where I’d stacked the papers on top of my laptop.

I wasn’t gonna tell him about my money worries, but I didn’t want to hide this from him. Maybe just not the extent of it. It was a fine line. “Yeah. I just have a few things to get done tonight. I’ll need to be working in the shop with the boys this week and not in the office, so if I can keep on top of the paperwork . . .”

“Is that because I’m not there?” he asked. “Do you have to do my job?”

Shit. I withheld the sigh that threatened to escape and put my fork down. “Not exactly. I mean, yes, a little bit. But it’s nothing we can’t handle until you’re ready to come back.”

His brow furrowed and I gave him time to think about what I’d said. He ate some more of his pasta but then pushed what was left around his plate with his fork. “Do Davo and Sparra have to do my work too?”

Shit.

I didn’t want him to feel bad, but I also wouldn’t lie to him. “The three of us are filling in the gaps. When I was at the hospital every day, Davo and Sparra did everything. They really covered my arse. So now we’re home, I’m trying to do as much as I can to help them out. We have an important contract coming up, one we do every year, and it’s good money. I can’t drop the ball on it.”

“I don’t like letting you down,” he whispered.

I reached over and squeezed his arm. “You’re not. At all. In any way. You’re my priority, first and foremost, Jussy. But my business is important too. Davo and Sparra depend on me for a job and I don’t want to let them down. I just need to get the balance right, that’s all. So if I have to do some work on the computer while we sit on the couch after dinner, then so be it.”

He tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. “My accident . . .”

When he said nothing else, I did. “Your accident was not your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. And we’ll get through this, I have no doubt. I just want to try and do the right thing by everyone, that’s all.”

“I want to help. I can do . . .” He frowned again, like he couldn’t find the right word. He shrugged. “I don’t know what I can do.”

“You can get better, and you can rest and recover,” I said. “And you can make an awesome spaghetti.”

That earned me a small smile, but it didn’t last long. “I hate that everything is so hard. I want to do things but I’m tired, and my leg and my arm are stupid, and my head hurts most of the time. And the worst part is that I can’t think properly. Like sometimes it’s clear, and sometimes it’s foggy, sometimes it’s like I’m underwater. I hate that I can’t remember everything, and I hate that I feel so lost.”

“Lost?”

He gave a small nod. “I dunno who I am. I mean, I know I’m Justin, and I know where I come from, and all that shit. But I dunno who I was. The last five years were so important and I’ve lost that. I dunno who that Justin is.”

I pulled my chair around so I faced him, and I took his hand. “Baby, I wish I could fix that. I wish I knew how to get everything back. I hate that you feel that way, but I completely understand why you do. I’m sure I’d feel the same if it were me in that van that day.”

“I just feel . . . lost. And sad.” He shrugged. “I guess today’s just a bad day, but I . . .” His chin wobbled and his eyes became glassy. “I dunno.”

“Oh, baby,” I whispered. “You’re allowed to have bad days.” To be honest, I was surprised he hadn’t had more bad days before now. “Do you want a hug?”

He nodded quickly, and I stood up and helped him to his feet. I pulled him against me and he snuggled in, fitting the side of his head against my neck. I rubbed his back and held him tight, and for the longest moment, we never moved.

“Thank you,” he mumbled.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“For everything. For knowing what I need when I don’t.”

He made no attempt to move and I certainly wasn’t going to. “I need your hugs too.”

“I mean it. When I’m all fuzzy and . . . not together . . .  I can’t think of the word. Anyway, when I’m like that, you hug me and it fixes me.”

“Well, you’re welcome. You can have a hug any time.”

He was quiet again for a bit and he leaned heavily against me as though he were falling asleep. “Thank you for staying.”

“Staying where?” In this hug?

“With me. For not leaving me. You could have, but you didn’t.”

I pulled back then so he could see the seriousness in my eyes. “Justin, baby. I love you. I’ve loved you for years. You are loved. And I know that’s probably weird for you, but I need you to know this: I’m not leaving you. Not then, not now, not ever.”

His face softened and he almost smiled. “It’s not weird. Well, maybe a little bit but not really. We’ve been on like, one date.”

I laughed. “Does tonight not count? You cooked me dinner. It could be our second date.”

“Nope. I forgot the candles.”

I chuckled and pulled him back in for a hug. His left arm went around me and held me just as tight as I held him. He was warm and smelled like home. “Candles make it a date,” I said quietly. “Got it.”

He was quiet again and heavy against me. “I like hearing you say it,” he mumbled. “That you love me. I know you do. You look after me, and you care.”

He liked knowing he was loved, and I couldn’t blame him. It was an amazing feeling, comforting like a soft bed and warm blankets on a cold night. I knew he loved me too. I knew he did. It was just trapped, hidden under the surface. He’d already remembered slivers of me from our life before the accident. He said my wing tattoos felt safe, like home. And he trusted me, and for a guy who was surrounded by strangers, that was a helluva statement.

His heart knew me, even if his head didn’t.

And I clung to that with everything I had.

N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance. She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn’t have it any other way.

She is many things: a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who live in her head, who don’t let her sleep at night unless she gives them life with words.

She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things… but likes it even more when they fall in love.

She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.

She’s been writing ever since…

For more about N.R. Walker you can find her at:

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nrwalker@nrwalker.net