Thursday, September 26, 2019

The Hitman's Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes (The Hitman's Guide #2) by Alice Winters







Blurb

Jackson
Now that Leland’s decided to give up his life as a hitman and take a walk on the mild side, we’ve been enjoying a simple life of taking down bad guys the legal way. I didn’t know he would be just as reckless as a PI, but it’s not my fault if I happen to enjoy helping him hunt down the occasional criminal. If only I could keep the house from being overrun by Leland’s gun shrine—or stop him from making our cases “more exciting” by terrorizing people into confessing. Overall, life seems perfect, right?

Wrong.
We’ve been called in to investigate a suspicious murder committed by someone claiming to be the Sandman. When we find a note on the victim’s body, we realize that this could ruin our lives forever.

Leland:
I wasn’t involved in the murder. It might look like my writing and my note, but I wouldn’t do that to Jackson—especially after I promised him that I wouldn’t take a hit ever again. At least, not without telling him. I’m finally starting to learn that we’re stronger together, and I’m not going to jeopardize that.

Luckily for both of us, this copycat doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Game’s on, fake Sandman. You think you can mess with me? Well, maybe you can, but that’s beside the point, because I will protect Jackson no matter what, even if I almost drown him in the process. (Really, that wasn’t my fault. He should learn how to swim better.)

This 110k word book contains: Disco ball piñata, camping with Sasquatch, an acrobatic housekeeper named “Mr. Cleanyface,” a questionable massage table, weapons everywhere, Jackson’s nemesis—the fence, a turkey showdown, aerial silk antics, a reappearance of Blow-up Randy, over-the-top body armor, too many hitmen, and so many emotions that Leland’s chest might explode. This is the second book in a series—while you could read and enjoy it on its own, you really should read The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love for maximum enjoyment. 


Review 
My Rating - 5+ Stars!


Screw my normal ratings. I just have to give 5+ stars to The Hitman's Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes. Not only is this Alice Winters read amazing in it's storyline, it's also spit-take hilarious, pee-your-pants funny.


The banter, the sexual innuendos, and the insults. Omg, they didn't stop and I couldn't stop laughing. 

So here's my advice:
Buy this book and then find somewhere to read it where it's okay to laugh out loud constantly. You've been warned. You will laugh, chuckle, snort, and giggle. Non-stop.

I love Leland and Jackson. Every single thing about them; them individually, them as a couple, their interactions with others. Everything. And neither could ever find a better partner for themselves.

Just a SMALL sample of the humor -
"I just saw guns and knew you'd be excited."

"Your sexy words went right to my sphincter!"
"My god, I'm amazing and just so funny that I literally fell in love with myself. Do you ever resent my level of funniness?"

This part of their relationship has all the same excellence that is in Book One. Leland and Jackson are beyond loveable. They will burrow themselves straight into your heart and you'll fall head over heels in love with them. Again, I'm extremely impressed that the author can make a hitman / ex-hitman so darn loveable. Add in the action, danger, and suspense, and you will not put this book down.

I can't praise The Hitman's Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes enough. It's absolutely spectacular. Do not miss out on this gem! 





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